Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
