also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
