You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
