There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Randomize
