i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
