Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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