So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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