yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
