So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
