did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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