Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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