If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
there is glitter all over my balls
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
