This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
