We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
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