Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
