I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
