u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
