I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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