i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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