Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
