Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
