I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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