whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
