even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
