i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
