More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
