She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
