Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
