Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
