No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
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In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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