Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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