This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
