oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
