any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
My vagina is very pro this idea
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
