went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize