what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
