Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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