I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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