spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
