K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
