I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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