Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
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So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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