My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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