i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
