dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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