if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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