You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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