yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
