when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize