You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
