If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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