I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
