I just pynch a tree in the face
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
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