Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
