Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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