you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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