she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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