maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
