'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Less talking, more tequila
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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