OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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