i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
