Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize