For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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